Job: Chapter 13

Job Continues: Still I Will Hope in God

Pikes Peak | Colorado Springs, Colorado

Why do you believe the lie that you are better than I? Your pride runs through you like a raging river into a canyon, touching every word you utter. Of course, I know who God is and who I am to Him. Did I not tell you this already? Haven't I lived my life in a way that shows that? I don't need to defend myself before you, I will take my case straight to the Judge and dismiss this jury. Fools! You paint your stories with lies and dismiss the truth out of your own discomfort for your own lives. The greatest wisdom you could show would be to remain silent. Listen attentively to my words as I plead before God almighty. Why would you speak from God's perspective? As if you were able to know it? Will you be the accuser and speak on His behalf? Naturally, you will take God's side and be led astray, assuming God would never punish someone without them deserving it. What will happen when he starts to examine you? God won't search your words, He will search the thought behind the words, He will go to the root of where that word was formed and judge you based upon that, still, believe you can fool Him? He is not a mere man. His magnitude, His presence, His power cannot be contained nor can it be witnessed fully. Simply the gravity of His essence, which He created gravity, by the way, cannot be survived unless He allows it. Even if you could be before Him without succumbing to any of the before mentioned things, His perfection would be too much to handle. We are imperfect beings, we cannot be before our perfect creator unless He allows it. Your defenses are only that which God molds and allows you to perceive. Now that I have silence, hear me speak. I will accept whatever consequences come from my words to the Holy One. God, though you may slay me, I will hope in you. However, that does not mean I won't come to you with this argument. My salvation is not secured in being a "yes man", it is secured because I love the Lord (because He loved me first), and sometimes love has disagreements. Naturally, I will disagree with you, God, because I want to be you. I am imperfect and you are perfect, I am contained within time and space, you are not. Listen, I have prepared my argument and I know that I shall be named right in the end. Is there any among us that will contend with me? If so, I shall stay silent till the grave. Lord, please give me these two things I ask of you, then I will not hide from you. Take away your hand from me and remove the terror I have in my heart for you. Call upon me, then I will answer, or allow my words to you be heard and then respond to them, almighty God. How many are my sins? What is your count? Show me these transgressions against you. Why must you continue to hide the truth from me? Am I your enemy? You have granted me the inheritance that I earned as a child, an unwise soul who was growing in his knowledge of you, do you plan to punish me for all I did as an adolescent? You have placed limits on me and I cannot break free from them. Release me from this spell and allow me to roam freely to praise your name.

God, I bring my complaint before you as Job does. Why have you seemingly cast your hand upon my body in many ways? I am well aware of all the ways that I have sinned against you, and I don’t believe that you "gave me cancer" but I also don't fully trust your will in this. I feel as if you have left me to my own knowledge and allowed me to be wandering through this without your strength. If I am left to my own strength, I will fail. If I am left to merely my friends around me, I will pass away. If I am left only to the prayers of others, I don't trust that I will be spared, regardless of how many prayers from all corners of the world. I need you to intervene, I need you to come alongside me and show the power of You through me. I cannot survive the challenge before me, mentally or physically. It is in You that I must place my hope and trust in and at this time I don't believe you hear me. Perhaps you thought I could handle this trial? I know you say you will never give us more than we can handle, but I believe there is an asterisk with that verse, because we require YOU in those times, if left to our own merit we will perish. I request your presence, I request the sound of your voice in my ear and the guidance that only you can offer.

Dear Lord, I pray that you will guide the path before my feet and lead me in a way that leads to life. I seek the Kingdom that is here on earth, I don't yet long to be on the streets of gold. My work here is not yet complete and I long to see the growth of those around me prior to my departure. Please grant me my request. Amen. 

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